Recently, I feel that the number of times the coach gets angry to me has increased. I don't think I can praise him anymore. I've been told many times that I should never take the ball away, and I'm told that I shouldn't lose it, so I'm told that I'm spinning more and getting pissed and frustrated. I was in a mental state that I wanted to stop to play⤵︎
In my notebook on September 28, 2007, it was written as follows.
Basically, what was written in 2007 is not him to get angry for my motivation to play, and how to be praised, not him to get angry.
What do you think of the leaders, coaches and managers after reading this?
It was 13 years ago, so now it's a completely different situation and environment, but I played soccer every day with this feeling.
Among them, I tried to find fun in my own way, tried hard to get better, self-affirmed, but anyway, I was desperate for the evaluation of the people around me.
Now I know what happens if I play with the consciousness of not losing the ball and not being robbed, but at the time when I was 19 years old, I was not sure what the purpose of playing was, and I think it felt like I was alive just on the evaluation of others.
I train every day in such a state that my body is not moving sharp, my mind and body do not match easily, I do not appear in the game, I do not expect the result, but I challenge without fear of failure! The 19-year-old passionate feelings of my strong feelings came from my notebook.
I was angry today as well. The coach feels that he is able to be only angry because he has changed. Maybe it's because of my mind. What I was told today is that I can't afford to play. That's why it gets messy. Look around more. The feeling of not losing. I'm trying to change it myself. I can't afford to play because I can't afford to feel.
It's scary to get used to be surrounded by people being angry, and it was a family environment where it was natural people to get angry from an early age, so a way of life that always cares about the evaluation of others has been built from that time. I'm analyzing it myself.
At that time, I was also saying this.
If I try to relax, I feel that my body becomes stiff because I can't play well.
Trying to relax in your feelings is not a means, but a result. That's why I now understand that this kind of phenomenon was happening. I didn't know at that time, and no one told me that.
If you don't have confidence in your skills, you can't afford to feel comfortable, and because you do things that you don't have confidence in, so your body naturally becomes stiff.
If you are told to do something negative, you will naturally be afraid of failure and your body will become stiff. It is more difficult to relax in such a situation. Especially when you are young.
However, I still get yelled at during practice. But I have changed the way I take it from that time. That's one of the ways you don't bother yourself.
I hope there are fewer coaches who say negative things or yell at player.
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