Why I’ve stepped away from the national team

I stepped away from the national team in 2016. I was called up for the first two training camps under the new head coach, including a friendly match against the U.S., just before the Rio Olympics.

After our 0–3 loss to Sweden during the second camp, I told the new head coach that I preferred to focus on my club for the time being—nothing more than that. But in truth, there was more behind my decision. I just couldn’t express how I really felt at the time, yet she accepted my choice without question.

I quietly stepped away from the national team by my own decision, without any public announcement. Maybe I could’ve handled it differently. Maybe I could’ve stayed and tried to change things. But I didn’t have the energy or motivation to keep pushing for a better future at that moment.

It was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made—and I chose to stay silent. Until now.

The real reason I stepped away was because I no longer felt the national team was the right place for me. One of the biggest factors was that the new coaching staff did not treat us as professionals. On and off the field, there was a clear lack of respect. Players weren’t evaluated fairly, and in some cases, we were treated in ways that felt disrespectful to us as human beings.

The standards you would expect at the national team level simply weren’t there. That lack of professionalism left me mentally and emotionally drained. I don’t claim to be the perfect professional, but over my 20-year career—playing in five different countries—I’ve come to understand what professionalism looks like.

Eventually, I realized this was the environment the federation was choosing to create. And I just didn’t feel like I belonged there anymore. Other issues had already been piling up, as I mentioned in a previous post. I lost the sense of pride I once had in representing the national team. That was my personal truth—and I was only 28.

For seven years, I kept this to myself. But I no longer want to stay silent. I’ve come to realize that silence doesn’t lead to change.

I want to see the national team grow into a truly professional environment—one that sets a standard, inspires the next generation, and earns the respect of fans around the world.

I made my debut for the national team in 2004. This is the value I’ve always held for the team. No matter how much times may change, I believe there are core things that must be protected.

It was an honor to wear the national team jersey. It meant everything to me. My heart and soul were in it every step of the way.

I’m deeply grateful to all the amazing people I shared that journey with. From the age of 16, I spent 12 unforgettable years fighting alongside teammates who inspired me and made me feel special. I’ll never forget that time—and I’ll keep saying it: they are truly special to me.